Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Jesus and my Heart. By Art Carter
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Information on Domestic Violence
Many times I have sat across from a person who admitted they have abused the one they claim to love. Many times I have asked myself what makes these individuals tick? What compels them to inflict physical, mental and emotional abuse and pain on another? When asked what drove them to commit these acts of violence, what did they feel the victim had done to warrant the attacks, each gave basically the same reply, “I don’t know. He/She did nothing. I was angry, I could’t control myself.” Many went on to explain how sorry they were that they had abused their loved one. A few I actually believed were remorseful that they had hurt them - that they actually did love their victim. Perpetrators who recognize their actions are not acceptable, not normal behavior, not participating in a healthy, loving relationship have the highest rate of recovery with proper therapy/counseling.
Where does love fit into the picture when a person abuses someone they claim to love?
As odd as it may seem many abusers do love their victims. The abuse does not stem from anything the victim has done, it’s about ultimate control. They cannot control many aspects of their own lives, be it on a personal level or work related, so they focus their attention on their mates. They become their own personal punching bag as a means to relieve pent up aggression, anger and resentment towards what the problem really is. They reflect what they are made up of, low self esteem, lack of control over their emotions and/or anger, their inability to function on a mentally healthy level of consciousness. Depression - drug and alcohol abuse often walk hand in hand with abuse. Mental illness may also be a factor in Domestic Violence and abuse.
Are there men/women who abuse because they are evil and lack compassion?
Sadly enough I do feel there are a majority of perpetrators who are simply evil. They have no sense of compassion, lack understanding of the pain they are inflicting on their victims, or comprehend they have even done anything wrong. In my research on Domestic Violence, Mental illness and abuse of many forms it is safe to say 9 out of 10 perpetrators abused other children and/or animals/pets as an adolescent. As a small child they did not develop normal characteristics that a normal psyche does that recognizes right from wrong. Their reality is drastically distorted. To them their actions are perfectly normal. I have met a few that left me wondering if they even owned souls, if they could ever be rehabilitated and placed back into society. In these I saw a dark empty abyss that only the use of violence/abuse could fill. Their pleasure is another’s pain. Yes evil does exist within mankind. Sometimes an evil so perverse and corrupt no amount of counseling can cure them.
The most common question, “Why don’t they just leave if they are being abused?”
It isn’t as easy as it sounds. Many times the victim isn't financially able to escape. When there are children involved it is almost impossible. I said almost, not completely impossible. When children are involved the victim is under a legal obligation, if court ordered, to remain in contact with the perpetrator in regards to the children’s welfare, visitation rights etc. This adds to the problem of remaining safe and at a safe distance from the abuser. Many perpetrators of Domestic Violence use their own children as pawns in the battle to control the victim. Proper notation of threats, concerns and legal matters should be conducted for future court hearings or complaints. A restraining order is as they say, “just a piece of paper” but if used correctly can become a weapon of defense. Log any and all violations and/or concerns and report them to the authorities.
Will physical, mental and emotional abuse ever end?
No! I hate to say it but there will never be an end to abuse - be it physical, mental or emotional. To end any form of abuse we would have to have the means to eradicate it - completely reformat mankind’s genetic make-up - remove any resemblance of the emotion called anger. With knowledge and information families can learn ways to control anger/violence within the family unit. Children learn from example and while violence remains a common way of life the cycle will never be broken. A child will not have a chance at a normal, healthy lifestyle when violence is a part of their up bringing. To eliminate violence that will follow a child into adulthood as parents we have to be responsible in how our children are being raised. To end the cycle of domestic violence - drug and/or alcohol abuse we have to face the painful truth. That truth being, children are a reflection of their parents on many levels. They mimic what they see on a daily basis. When violence is a way of life for a family the child grows into an adult thinking it’s perfectly alright to slap - punch - curse - kick - abuse their mate. Violence is a vicious enemy that takes much commitment, counseling and the willingness to break if we want a brighter future for our children. Dedication to seeing that each child has a possible future free of violence and abuse can only happen if people want to be educated on D/V - abuse and have the courage to seek help if they are a victim. The road to freedom and sanity is a long one that has many stumbling stones, but you have to remember, it takes time to heal and move forward. Remember each day that the fight won't last forever. The day will come when you no longer have to fear abuse at the hands of a loved one.
Can anger become a tool for good, not always bad?
Anger can be a constructive tool when applied properly. We have to understand anger is a secondary emotion. When we recognize what triggers our anger be it jealousy, embarrassment etc, we can control it and use it constructively. I myself have been so angry that I wanted to bash someone’s face in with a two by four. I analyzed the anger and recognized it for what it was. I was able to act accordingly and resolved the issue. Common sense and reasoning is the key to managing anger/violence. We have to control our impulses to act without first thinking. When we can achieve this most of our problems that stem from anger can be eliminated.
Violence is the number 1 leading cause of death in the work place for women
Violence in the workplace is a serious safety issue. Its most extreme form, homicide, is the third-leading cause of fatal occupational injury in the United States. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics Census of Fatal Occupational Injuries (CFOI), there were 639 workplace homicides in 2001 in the United States, out of a total of 8,786 fatal work injuries.
With today’s economy in such a turmoil anger and violence has become a major concern to most business owners and employees. The threat of job loss, being laid off, companies going out of business is an every day occurrence even in the most stable of economic times. With the increased threat to our futures economical collapse many have a hard time dealing with the added pressure.
Although economic pressure is one reason for violence in the work place, there are many different causes for the occurrence of violent acts. A long-term employee may become disgruntled if a newer employee is given a promotion the he/she thinks they deserved. A person may become angered by an extramarital affair of a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. A worker might become distraught after being fired. In most cases, the violence is usually triggered by one specific event, but the tendency toward violence must have been building up over time.
Workplace homicides are more common than most realize. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics states that homicide is the second cause of death in the workplace. For women, homicide is the number one cause of death in the workplace. It also stated that one out of every four employees is attacked, threatened or harassed verbally or physically at work each year. With the high prevalence of violence in the workplace, it is important to be able to identify signs of potential violence, the underlying causes of workplace violence, means of protecting yourself and others in the workplace, and why incidents of violence must be reported and investigated. There must be a firmly enforced policy that does not tolerate or accept any form of violence. Employers have an obligation to their employees to protect them from hazards and harmful working conditions. To the extent possible, this includes protecting them from workplace violence.
Violence should not be tolerated or ignored. This means those victims, or others who are aware of the violence or the potential for violence, must do something about the problem. Failing to act properly might result in an escalation of the problems, resulting in workplace violence and/or homicide. No incident that sends a signal of potential violence-threat can be ignored, every incident must be taken seriously. The specific action to be taken for each overt threat, veiled threat, or questionable behavior will vary with the circumstances. Verbal and physical threats must be addressed directly and they must be handled by the right individual. When a worker’s behavior appears odd, different approaches might be called for. For example, a fellow worker, especially one who is a friend or relative of the worker exhibiting the strange behavior, might be the appropriate person to talk to the worker. The next person to talk to the worker might be the supervisor. In fact, the supervisor or foreman should pay attention to the mannerism and actions of the workers in the crew. All companies should use a violence prevention program. The programs should include a system for documenting incidents, procedures to be taken in the event of incidents, and open communication between employers and workers.
With today’s economy in such a turmoil anger and violence has become a major concern to most business owners and employees. The threat of job loss, being laid off, companies going out of business is an every day occurrence even in the most stable of economic times. With the increased threat to our futures economical collapse many have a hard time dealing with the added pressure.
Although economic pressure is one reason for violence in the work place, there are many different causes for the occurrence of violent acts. A long-term employee may become disgruntled if a newer employee is given a promotion the he/she thinks they deserved. A person may become angered by an extramarital affair of a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. A worker might become distraught after being fired. In most cases, the violence is usually triggered by one specific event, but the tendency toward violence must have been building up over time.
Workplace homicides are more common than most realize. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics states that homicide is the second cause of death in the workplace. For women, homicide is the number one cause of death in the workplace. It also stated that one out of every four employees is attacked, threatened or harassed verbally or physically at work each year. With the high prevalence of violence in the workplace, it is important to be able to identify signs of potential violence, the underlying causes of workplace violence, means of protecting yourself and others in the workplace, and why incidents of violence must be reported and investigated. There must be a firmly enforced policy that does not tolerate or accept any form of violence. Employers have an obligation to their employees to protect them from hazards and harmful working conditions. To the extent possible, this includes protecting them from workplace violence.
Violence should not be tolerated or ignored. This means those victims, or others who are aware of the violence or the potential for violence, must do something about the problem. Failing to act properly might result in an escalation of the problems, resulting in workplace violence and/or homicide. No incident that sends a signal of potential violence-threat can be ignored, every incident must be taken seriously. The specific action to be taken for each overt threat, veiled threat, or questionable behavior will vary with the circumstances. Verbal and physical threats must be addressed directly and they must be handled by the right individual. When a worker’s behavior appears odd, different approaches might be called for. For example, a fellow worker, especially one who is a friend or relative of the worker exhibiting the strange behavior, might be the appropriate person to talk to the worker. The next person to talk to the worker might be the supervisor. In fact, the supervisor or foreman should pay attention to the mannerism and actions of the workers in the crew. All companies should use a violence prevention program. The programs should include a system for documenting incidents, procedures to be taken in the event of incidents, and open communication between employers and workers.
Violence in the work place: When Police Officers are the Perpetrators
Violence in the Work Place - Police Departments
Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than the general population. In two studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their partners within the last year. In the general population, it's estimated that domestic violence occurs in about 10% of families. A nationwide survey of 123 police departments, 45% had no specific policy for dealing with officer-involved domestic violence. In that same survey, the most common discipline imposed for a sustained allegation of domestic violence was counseling. 19% of departments indicated that officers would be terminated after a second sustained allegation of domestic violence. In San Diego, a national model in domestic violence prosecution, the City Attorney prosecuted 92% of domestic violence cases, 42% of cases where the batterer is a cop.
Special Problems for Victims
Her batterer has a gun.
He knows how to inflict pain and leave no bruises.
He's trained to intimidate by his presence alone.
He has the power to kill her and get away with it, or have others do it for him.
Call the police? He is the police! He tells her that if she does, the officers (colleagues and friends) will believe him-not her. He's right.
He often threatens if she reports him he'll lose his job. If that happens, she's dead.
He has access to surveillance tools, phone taps, scanners, tracking devices, audio - video recording equipment to stalk the victim's activities. The batterer or his fellow officers will often "patrol" the victim's whereabouts. People are afraid of the batterer and won’t get involved.
He knows the location of battered women's shelters.
He knows the court system- district attorneys, judges and bailiffs personally.
Jurors assume police officers would not lie in court.
When Justice Fails
Recently two minors were arrested and convicted of torturing, killing a dog. Both minors were given prison time. A 14 year old was beaten, suffocated by correction Guards in a juvenile boot camp. A young boy is dead, his killers roam the streets free while two minors are serving time for killing an animal. When is an animals life more important, better protected than a humans? I’m not defending the perpetrators who tortured and killed the canine, I’m simply pointing out where society is letting its citizens down. The Guards escaped our court system because they were protected from prosecution because the gang colors they wore were Government issued. We are supposed to trust the people who swore to protect will do just that - Protect us. Instead many fear the Law Enforcement - Court system. Why? Many innocent victims have been prosecuted or let down by both because it is poorly organized, harbor corrupted employees, many use it as a form of vengeance.
Stricter Rules
Statistics show there is concern about violence within State and County departments. What solutions are there to avoid violence within these departments? A mandatory yearly psychiatric evaluation of officers. When a complaint or concern is made it is the companies responsibility to note the information. Discipline must be administered and carried out when noticiable misconduct is apparent/proven. It is important to have on file previous complaints for future use.
No one should be allowed to intimidate their way to freedom.
Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than the general population. In two studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their partners within the last year. In the general population, it's estimated that domestic violence occurs in about 10% of families. A nationwide survey of 123 police departments, 45% had no specific policy for dealing with officer-involved domestic violence. In that same survey, the most common discipline imposed for a sustained allegation of domestic violence was counseling. 19% of departments indicated that officers would be terminated after a second sustained allegation of domestic violence. In San Diego, a national model in domestic violence prosecution, the City Attorney prosecuted 92% of domestic violence cases, 42% of cases where the batterer is a cop.
Special Problems for Victims
Her batterer has a gun.
He knows how to inflict pain and leave no bruises.
He's trained to intimidate by his presence alone.
He has the power to kill her and get away with it, or have others do it for him.
Call the police? He is the police! He tells her that if she does, the officers (colleagues and friends) will believe him-not her. He's right.
He often threatens if she reports him he'll lose his job. If that happens, she's dead.
He has access to surveillance tools, phone taps, scanners, tracking devices, audio - video recording equipment to stalk the victim's activities. The batterer or his fellow officers will often "patrol" the victim's whereabouts. People are afraid of the batterer and won’t get involved.
He knows the location of battered women's shelters.
He knows the court system- district attorneys, judges and bailiffs personally.
Jurors assume police officers would not lie in court.
When Justice Fails
Recently two minors were arrested and convicted of torturing, killing a dog. Both minors were given prison time. A 14 year old was beaten, suffocated by correction Guards in a juvenile boot camp. A young boy is dead, his killers roam the streets free while two minors are serving time for killing an animal. When is an animals life more important, better protected than a humans? I’m not defending the perpetrators who tortured and killed the canine, I’m simply pointing out where society is letting its citizens down. The Guards escaped our court system because they were protected from prosecution because the gang colors they wore were Government issued. We are supposed to trust the people who swore to protect will do just that - Protect us. Instead many fear the Law Enforcement - Court system. Why? Many innocent victims have been prosecuted or let down by both because it is poorly organized, harbor corrupted employees, many use it as a form of vengeance.
Stricter Rules
Statistics show there is concern about violence within State and County departments. What solutions are there to avoid violence within these departments? A mandatory yearly psychiatric evaluation of officers. When a complaint or concern is made it is the companies responsibility to note the information. Discipline must be administered and carried out when noticiable misconduct is apparent/proven. It is important to have on file previous complaints for future use.
No one should be allowed to intimidate their way to freedom.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
